Homestay

On Friday, we had our home-stay with a local Rhotian family. What an experience. Here's the breakdown:

8:00 A.M: Breakfast is finished. Erin and I are paired up with Petro, one of the gardeners. He walked us about a kilometer towards Moyo Hill to a small mud house. Inside there was on old man eating porridge, a wife, a son and a daughter. Erin and I were invited in and were told to take a seat on the bed. There was no electricity, paved floors or running water. We stared at each other with questions lingering on our mind about what the day to come would bring us. 

8:30 A.M.: The young girl, whose name is Yohanna, brings in Chai Tea. It is made with fresh milk and is extremely rich and filling. The taste is a bit heavy, but Erin and I drink without hesitation. 

9:00 A.M.: Erin is given a skirt and I an old pair of jeans. We are told to change into them since we will be out and about for the entire day. We are led outside and are given hoes. We will be weeding the field for a few hours. 

10:45 A.M.: We finish weeding the field. It is hot and exhausting. The fields are large and we have grown an appetite for some food. We leave the fields and make our way back to the house where we will be preparing our meal to come. We begin with cabbage, and then we have to cut up the chicken. There are no cutting boards so Yohanna takes part of the chicken, while I cut off small bite size pieces of meat and throw it into the pot. This takes us a good 45 minutes to complete and my hands feel awfully slimy after finishing. We wash our hands, put sanitizer on and then head into the outhouse to build the fire. 

11:30 A.M.: We build the fire and put the chicken over it. It sounds and begins to smell incredible. The next part is taking the chicken off and putting the cabbage on. We load it with butter, onions, carrots and tomato. The cabbage releases it's excess water and begins to simmer. It smells delicious. My mouth is watering, this is going to be an excellent meal. Last is the ugali, which is corn meal mixed with water. It is pure starch and not very delicious. It is the worst part of our meal, but we make it and eat it without complaint. 

12:15 P.M.: We eat our meal with Yohanna. The chicken is delicious and the cabbage is to die for, wish I could say the same about the ugali. There is no silverware and we eat with our hands. We finish our meal and wash our hands. We are told that we will be resting for the next hour before we start to do work.

12:35 P.M.: I lay down under a tree and close my eyes as the warm sun hits my feet and the breeze goes gently through my curly hair. I listen and hear the birds chirping, and life all around me moving the beat of nature. It is peaceful. I could lay here for hours....and surely we do. The work does not continue and I continue to lie there as the shade of the tree slowly recedes onto my body. Eventually my entire legs are exposed to the sun and Yohanna asks if we would like to go for a hike. 

2:00 P.M.: We go for a hike up to Moyo Hill. Erin and I talk a bit about the states and Yohanna tells us about her ambitions about becoming a nurse. She says that more than anything else, money is the problem. We ask her what she thinks about people from the U.S. and she answers with one word: rich. I think about this and realize that even those people working at the cash register of your local fast food restaurant are better off and make more money in an hour than many of these people here, yet as I have stated throughout this entire blog and will continue to state, they are happier. We walk back down to the house and hang out for another half an hour. I climb a tree and get to have a pretty cool view of the world around me. The clouds are slowly filling the sky and the wind is beginning to pick up. I wonder if it's going to rain, but I have my doubts. 

3:30 P.M.: We go into the barn and begin to shovel cow manure. We clean out the entire barn, put a fresh layer of dirt above it and empty all the manure with a small bucket. The work is not as bad as one might read and at times it is very zen like. There is a lot of activities in this world that most people would find repulsive, but hey, someones got to do them and we do it well and with a smile on our face.

4:00 P.M.: We play with the chickens and start up another fire to make some chai. The water goes to a boil. We clean the dishes and make our way into the main house where we will drink our chai before we leave. It is about a degree or two shy of boiling when it touches our tongues and we instinctively make faces of pain and shock. Everyone laughs and we slowly finish the tea. It is now 5:15 P.M. and it is time to head back to camp. 

5:30 P.M.: Everyone is back, I jump into the shower and take my time. It feels great and my clothes all smell of cow manure and smoke. When I finish, there is a ton of avocados that will be used for the guacamole making contest. It is delicious. 

7:00 P.M.: We eat and then I talk to Professor Yohanna who gave out a test yesterday, but I had a migrane and was advised to sleep instead. I take the test and felt good about it. I have successfully learned the different noun classes and I spend the rest of the night researching for my environmental policy paper before I pass out. It was a good day. 

It’s been a while since I’ve written anything in my journal. Almost a week. We went to Tangarie National Park on Friday and had an amazing time. We saw 237 Elephants and about 145 Impala! It was unreal. At one point there was a herd of elephants that was fifty strong and stained an entire hill earth brown. We had lunch at this incredible lodge and had a few beers. The group went swimming, but I really didn’t feel a huge desire to go so I kept drinking and taking pictures. We had been there for about two hours when we finally started getting concerned that one of the vehicles had not shown up and a quarter of our group was missing. The rest of the afternoon was spent in panic and worrying about their whereabouts. We were clueless, but eventually they showed up and had told us their car had stalled 16 times in the mud. They were completely filthy and by the time we finally found them, the sun was beginning to set.

The next day was an ordinary day. Will and I went for a run, and I ended up rolling my ankle about five times in the course of 100 meters. My legs and body were tired, but strong, but that wasn’t the worst. Later that night, I felt a sensation in my left knee like it was bloated and needed to pop. It refused to do so. I have had this experience before, but when I tried to squat to see the full extension of my leg, a sharp pain occurred. The next morning, the entire leg was swollen and felt as if I needed to go and get fluid drained from it. I reasoned that it must have been a sore tendon in my IbBand and that it would probably heal itself. To this day, I still haven’t run, but the swelling has subsided and the knee just feels stiff.

Monday was our day off and I stayed behind on the hike due to my knee. I have learned that pushing myself past my limit usually results in bad news bears. I met up with the group in the afternoon and we went to this upscale lodge. They had a crystal clear pool with a bar in the water. The charge to go swimming was 10 dollars and having no money, I wanted to use a card, but the man, whose name I eventually learned was Sammy, told me there as 50 dollar minimum on my card. Austin, Luke and I discussed the possibilities and agreed that I would put down a 50-dollar tab and we would split it between the three of us. It worked out quite nicely. We were hammering beers left and right and were feeling pretty good. The pool felt amazing and the strong Equatorial sun was clear in the sky. The SPF-15 that I had originally put on was no match for the sun and I quickly became lobster like, but didn’t notice until later that evening. We finished our pool rendez-vous and had a few more beers at Happy Days which was conveniently right next to the resort. At around 4:30 we made our way back to our campsite.

The past few days here have been pretty lackluster. We have had long days of class and the routine has been pretty typical. We finished our observations and am bombarded with work for Environmental Policy. Unlike school back in the states, where there are weeks of intensity and then weeks of dullness, there is a steady stream of work here. The six days of class are starting to feel long, and the need for a greasy American Food is starting to cloud the minds of everyone. For example, Courtney had a dream last night about being sent home by her mom to eat cheese and ice cream and to her surprise the entire group was with her.

In other news, I finished Solitude and really learned a lot from it. Bob’s harmony with nature is clearly evident by the end of the novel and has a new lens on the way he views the world. He is more acute about his actions and how they affect the bigger world and had a deeper understanding of the subconscious of nature. These are lessons I really feel any human can truly learn from. I am currently reading Mark Twain’s Joan of Arc and really love it. It reminds me a lot of the Agony and the Ecstasy except for there is an actual character following Joan of Arc around while Michelangelo’s novel had none.

In all, life here is pretty good. We are gelling together as a group quite nicely and despite a few instances, everyone gets along pretty well. No one is hooking up yet, but it is starting to make sense why. It’s a one and out to many of the people here and as a result, people are pacing themselves to make sure that when they hook up with someone, it is someone they want to be with for a few months and not a few nights. 

Pursuit of Solitude and Understanding of Dreams

Valentines Day. Couldn’t care less. The pursuit of solitude has totally captured my mind. Today was our day off. The entire group went out to do a hike. My body was achy and sore, likely because of the hill workout Will and I did yesterday. I am finally beginning to feel strength in my legs and cardiovascular system and if I continue to put my mind to it, I’m sure that a few PR’s will be waiting for me when I return the states. Will is an amazing runner and a really great person. Everyone is here. As I put it, not only is the food organic, the people are too. I have seen changes in myself since the start of the trip and I’ve only known these kids for 10 days. Okay, back to the point. So I finally got to sleep in this morning and it felt amazing. I woke up, didn’t do much and then finished my warthog field observation, which I am really satisfied with. I decided to study their diets and how that plays a role into their body size. Boring to many, interesting to some. I loved the alone time. Maybe my introvert self is blossoming. At 2:45 p.m Moses took a few of us to meet the rest of the group at Happy Days, which is the only bar where we can drink and won’t get looked down upon. The community here is very catholic and sober. I had a meal and got a nice little buzz. It felt great, but realized that I didn’t miss the substances all that much. My body is really enjoying a detox period and so is my mind. I feel healthier, more aware and a more genetically fit human. My mind is constantly finding new frontiers to ponder. I decided today that I would make a conscious effort to remember my dreams.

The first of my dreams consisted of everyone doing well on a test except for me. I received a 45% while the second lowest score was a 74%. I went and tried to understand my feelings behind this, but couldn’t (this is in my dream). I went to my teacher, but he told me that the past was in the past and that I had to let go. For those who truly know me, they know I do fairly well in school, so I’m pretty sure the stressors of my dream were not related in any way to the percentage, but rather to the second part of letting go. Throughout my entire life, there are things that I never seem to shake off. For example, there is a deep part of me that will be upset towards my parents for not letting me play hockey as a child. Being raised in Minnesota, I feel as though it is a cultural thing and almost a necessity, but still, 15 years later, there is still resentment. I resent the fact that I took life too seriously in high school and I even resent the fact that I become too obsessed with money when I am in DC. Hakuna Matata, in Swahili, it means let go/relax. This is one of the goals for the trip and for the near future. I need to make peace with my past, I will never have it again. There is no way of reversing atom rotation so that the events of the past unfold themselves as the future. It won’t happen and I need to get over it. Let go. Live in the present and the future, take the past as a lesson and move on. If you spend to much time looking at what could have been, you will never know what will be. This is constantly a struggle for people in general. This is a life lesson that will only enhance one’s life once learned, not detract from it.

The novelty, as Christina put it, of our trip is beginning to wear off. I am starting to feel a routine and the fact that I am far from home and here is starting to settle in. Last night, I lay by the fire listening to a bunch of people discuss some of the different laws between Kenya and Tanzania. When everyone left, Arthur, our cook, and I began comparing and contrasting our lives and the conversation was nothing short of memorable. In the states, I constantly feel that people are only satisfied with what they don’t have. They constantly buy People magazine, go on various celebrity web sites and put a false image on themselves in order to envision and strive for a life they do not currently have, and for that matter may never have. People in Africa are quite the contrary, they are happy with what they have, they accept their surroundings and make the best of the situations. The grass may be greener on the other side, but they don’t think like that. They accept. They are happy. If in thirty years, I forget all the schooling from Africa and there is one thing that is close to my heart, it is this: Accept what I have, stop worrying about what others have, it’s not yours and accepting that will lead to great happiness. Arthur really appreciated that even though we all come from a land of so much, we are all in search of a greater truth with our lives. We all acknowledge the fact that life may not always be as glamorous as Hollywood may make it out to be, but the pursuit of happiness has no boundaries.

I sit here, at 8:31, listening to the rain hit the roof, it is peaceful. My room is only lit with an LED flashlight and I have my favorite playlist in the background. When I mute my computer, Mikayla is playing her ukulele. It is wonderful here. She has an amazing voice and as I sit back, smell the fresh air and exhale, I realize that even here in this remote place in the world, the grass is very very green.

My thoughts run wild...

February 11, 2011

The past few days have been life changing. We had our first full day of lecture and were extremely exhausted. Waking up at 6:15 in the morning to go run, followed by a long day of learning feels a bit like high school again. I’m a bit annoyed with it, but I have adjusted and am starting to appreciate being up for sixteen to eighteen hours every day. Our lectures have been a bit boring, but that’s primarily because we are reviewing so much material we have already gone through. By noon, the temperature is in the high eighties/ low nineties. The food is repetitive now and the American cravings are starting to set in. I had a serious urge for some Annie’s Mac n Cheese the other day. In the afternoon, we were to go and do field observations of Lake Manyara National Park. We arrived at the park and it was hot. I had already gulped down a full water bottle and had one more remaining. For the first three or four kilometers, all we saw were tall trees and baboons, but that was all about to change. There was another van stopped in front of us with all the lenses pointed to the brush. As we pulled up, there was an elephant feeding. It was a mother with it’s young. Jaws were dropped. Every part of my body felt alive as I saw the first true signs of intense African Wildlife. We continued to see animals all throughout the day, but it didn’t seem as natural as I thought. For starters, there were many other people around. In my mind, I had always envisioned an Into the Wild type experience. That is, complete solitude with nature. Anger, frustration and anxiety started to take over my feelings since this was clearly not the case. I don’t know what it is about being alone with nature, but the fact that I came to Africa to get so far away from the Western World, but felt so close to it at the park really bothered me. It was very unnatural despite that being the reasoning for everyone being there. We wandered around the park for a bit more, saw some more animals, but still felt a bit annoyed. We saw a baboon mating which was pretty awesome.

We spent the next morning at the park observing baboons for two and half hours, it was very peaceful and I could have observed them all day. They are so human like it’s almost scary. After a while, some of the infant baboons began to climb and play on the hood of our car. I was completely amused, but the girls seemed a bit frightened. We made our way back to the camp and when we arrived there was a beautiful white goat there. It was the goat that we would be slaughtering in a few hours. The classes passed and everyone was near asleep in Environmental Policy. We were supposed to watch a movie for the last hour of class, but the video wasn’t working so we decided to go and watch the slaughtering of the goat.

Yohana, our Swahili teacher, along with a few other locals took the goat to the back of the garage. Set it down, grabbed it’s head so it wouldn’t squeal in pain, and slit it’s throat. At first, it was extremely hard to watch, but then it almost became beautiful. The goat immediately started to spasm as the blood started to gush into the bucket that would be later used for soup. Now, fellow reader, you must be wondering how something like this could be beautiful and that is exactly what I am going to tell you. As we were watching the goat being slaughtered, I was fortunate enough to have a clear view. The spasms began to slow and then all of the sudden there was this final exhale, a breath more spiritual than anything I have ever felt, heard or seen before. The balance between life and death was so thin that it is almost scary. The goat was dragged towards a tree where it was hanged upside down and skinned. Amazing. While many, if not most, would find this repulsive, there was a real beauty to it. That goat was at peace. It didn’t feel the skinning. It was unaware of anything. It was no longer living. There would never be pain, hunger or any of the struggles that we living things go through every day. It made death that much more interesting. I was awe inspired. Not to kill obviously, but the fact that the discussion that Austin, Mikayla and I had the other day seemed to really sink in at that moment. Death isn’t something that is supposed to be painful; no it is quite the opposite. It is peaceful and spiritual. I have never been one to think of spirits, but I can definitely understand why so many people through so many thousands of years believe in them. Two hours later, we were devouring the goat. It was delicious, and really weird to think about. We had just seen that goat not only be killed, but skinned and the entire process. It makes me appreciate the beauty of my life. How easy death can occur should really humble any human. We are not immortal, we are very mortal, one mistake and it could be over, but you won’t know it’s over because you won’t be there to process it. Sorry if this sounds really sad, but these are just some of the things that I was thinking about when this entire process was occurring. We sat by the fire later that night and continued to bond with one another. The entire night seemed to have this spiritual aura in the air. It was very peaceful.


February 12, 2011
I’m feeling a bit homesick right now. Maybe I’m not. I don’t know, the point is something is bothering me. I am used to being such a people person, but lately, all I have wanted is to be alone. In fact, I am happiest when I am alone and away from everyone else. I find myself falling into books more often than not and when I am disturbed from my own schedule, I feel a bit annoyed. It has been weird trying to adjust to this selfless lifestyle since my lifestyle in the states is nothing short of selfish. Maybe this is what change feels like. Maybe I am being reborn the way I wanted to be reborn. Whatever it is, there are moments of ecstasy and there are moments of agony. The book I am reading, Solitude, is the story of a man who spends an entire year alone in the Patagonia wilderness. I find him, much like I find Chris McCandless, inspiring. He writes in a diary every day and there is a quote that I was reading to me that I really love and find true to myself. “This is a problem with all my relationships. The most serious case is with myself. I feel I somehow own myself and feel the right to control what I do and feel and what happens to me. From there it follows that the world is mine to do with as I wish. But I didn’t make me, nor do I own me or the world. I’m just part of the flow of existence” (Kull, 102). Throughout my entire life, I feel as though I need to be in control. If I don’t have the power, I am miserable. For the past year, I have been going through a self- rejuvenation. I have been working on letting things that I cannot control be and focusing on the things I can control. I still struggle with it, but I am closer to understanding this concept than I was a year ago and this is, in my mind a step of maturity. I used to always need to talk about myself. I would be constantly giving monologues when I should be having a dialogue with people. I have made a conscious effort to not tell too much about myself and only speak when asked. There have been improvements. As I mentioned earlier, there is an importance in listening. Every individual thinks they are great, people don’t want to hear about how great you are, they like talking about themselves. I am learning that letting these people talk about themselves to me makes me a much more likeable person. I am open and if someone has a question about my life, I will gladly respond, but I am sick of it always being about me.

So Elliot, what is that you long to be? A part of me longs to be an introvert. That’s not a joke. I wish at times I wasn’t as friendly as I am constantly perceived. I wish that I could hide in my own thoughts. I think a part of my own odyssey is a transition to a more introverted self. Getting back to my original thoughts of this entry, I am finding alone time more and more desirable. I am constantly exhausted when I am around people and find happiness in sharing my own thoughts with this journal I am keeping. Today for example, I spent my entire free time alone. I skipped lunch to listen to one of my favorite album, Blink-182, and then went for a run. I had absolutely no desire to be around people. My own company was all I needed and all I really wanted. In class, I kept quiet and the second class was over, I disappeared to read my book, and now here I am writing while the rest of the group plays games and intermingles with one another. Am I really changing this fast? Is it the solitude that I came here in search of? A part of me longs to be the next Chris McCandless, no, every part of me longs to be him. Well, everything except for the death. I guess I should start changing my views to Robert Kull, who spent a year alone and lived to tell the tale. Non-the-less, these men seek their own inner peace. These men want to find truth within themselves and not through others. Maybe that’s why I was so frustrated when I was at Lake Manyara National Park. It may sound selfish, but what I really wanted was to be alone with the animals. I wanted there to only be the sound of nature. I guess once in a while, even the most extraverted of people need to hide in their shell to seek knowledge. Perhaps, for the past few years, I have been longing for this solitude and find myself frustrated that I have not yet had the chance to experience it. Maybe what’s really bothering me is the fact that I want to be completely alone from the world for an extended period of time and have yet to find that solitude. One day, I will do such an adventure. One day I will be completely away from society. I talked a lot about ex communicating myself when I was here in Africa, and writing this entry has helped me understand why. My next great rebirth of my life may very well not be from Africa, but solitude.

The Philosophic Discussions Have Begun.....

Wow. Where do I even begin? I’ve been here only a week, yet my life is starting to change so much. I was able to skype with my parents for a bit, which was really amazing. I miss them and I hope that I can extend my trip after Africa so they can come and visit (and I can stay here). 

Yesterday was our first day of classes, we woke up at 6:15 to help with breakfast crew, my job was to butter make the toast. It was amazing how fast I was able to wake up considering I can’t recall the last time I actually was up willingly at the break of dawn. At 8, we have our first class, which is wildlife ecology. We do a review of what ecology is and some of the key terms we need to know for the semester. Next is Swahili. The class is a little rambunctious, but it’s all in good fun. We go through the Swahili alphabet. They have all the same letters as in English except for Q. Before we know it, it’s time for lunch. We eat the same thing almost every day, but it is amazing non-the less. The Saracha sauce I bought an hour before I left has been a hit here at the camp and am sure that if we do not rationalize properly, it will be gone before we know it. We have an hour break in between and I take a short siesta. Austin, who I will talk more extensively about later, brought a slack line and when I was trying it out, I fell straight on my ass and completely bruised the lower half of my back. I spent the rest of the day (and still) in lower back pain. Our last and final class of the day is Environmental Policy. It is a two-hour class and the teacher’s accent makes it very difficult to understand. By the end of class, I had made a paper football and we were all flicking field goals and getting restless. Lesson of the day: Sit in the front of the classroom for Environmental Policy. We are finished by 4 in the afternoon and decide that we will go to the local market to browse around and do a bit of haggling. 

The market is unreal. Instantly we are bombarded with Africans trying to sell us necklaces, bracelets and small figures. I am followed by a man whose name I eventually learn is James. He is persistent and begins to cry in front of me telling me he has no way of getting back to his home. At this point I should have asked him how he was able to get to the market if he didn’t have any money, but my better half felt for him and he suckered me into buying a few bracelets and necklaces for much more than they were worth. I spent 10,000 shillings (roughly 8 dollars) on four necklaces and two bracelets. Allie comes out of nowhere and we spend the rest of the time wandering around the market. We are constantly asked to purchase stuff and after a while we get fed up with it and tell people “Tokah!” which in Swahili means “Go away” or more vainly “Piss off”. Mel was being followed by one person and when she told the man she was too poor to afford anything, she was given a look of disgust and was answered by, “You have no idea what poor is”. Still, everyone here is happy. We head back to our vehicles and a man sees me walking with my water bottle. He tries to bargain with me and trade me a piece of Ebony tree (endangered) for the water bottle. I try to explain to him that we are all environmentalists and that we do not want to have anything that would be damaging to the local ecosystems, he does not understand. He tries and tries and tries, but still I refuse. At 5:30 we make our way back to the Field Station and get ready for dinner. 

Dinner’s here are amazing. Every night we have fresh guacamole, an assortment of fruits and vegetables, pasta and rice. Josh, who started the fine dining committee, purchased a sugar cane for dessert and we watched as Arthur, our cook, begin to hack away at the plant. It tastes sweet, but bland. You suck out the juice until there is nothing but fiber remaining and then you spit out the rest. Josh also tells us that he found out how much it would be to purchase a goat and everyone who would like to have fresh goat in the upcoming week needs to give him money. Everyone is interested and we all throw in 2000 shillings ($1.50 each) for a live goat that will be slaughtered and eaten very soon. I am starting the Star Gazing Platform Committee where we will build a platform for us to stargaze on so that we can avoid the risk of being bitten by a snake at night. People seem enthused and the planning will be started later today (kind of wish Zach Kahn were here to help build it). 

Everyone is playing banana grams and enjoying life in what I think of is semi-solitude. Eventually we all make our way out to the bonfire and play hot seat. Hot Seat for those of you who do not know is where you are put on the spot and bombarded with question which you have to answer truthfully. Everyone here is non-judgmental and are willing to share anything with the group. Eventually people start to leave, but Austin, Mikayla and I lay down to look up at the night sky. It is the first time in my life that I’ve ever been able to see the Milky Way and it truly is surreal. The discussion soon turns into a philosophic conversation. 

I’m going to dive into a bit of what we said. I am brutally honest in these journals and if someone is offended with any of these ideas, I am sorry. Our conversation starts with religion. We all think pretty agnostically, however we all feel that religion is important not for the beliefs, but for the values it teaches and the time it enables you to have to spend with your family. We all believe that the concept of a God watching over us a bit outdated and that people are extremely ignorant when it comes to some religious beliefs. There are so many views of a higher power in this world, yet we cannot prove or disprove any of it. We all agree that in order for society to thrive, we need to break the bonds of an all seeing power and an afterlife. We believe that there is intelligent life out there and that we are far from the most advanced society in the universe. We discuss the benefits of natural selection among the human race and what our purpose in life is. Mikayala begins with how for 10,000 years we have done nothing but destroy the earth and how sad it is. I nod, but add that it is also our gift. It is up to this generation to save the earth and if we can do so our names will be stamped in the history books for the rest of the human race.

In addition, we all believe that there is a multi-verse where laws of physics are completely different than those in our own universe. The universe is the next thing we begin to talk about and the insignificance of our lives. Seriously, I truly believe that when it comes down to it, we are chemistry and that our lives, according to the universe, serve no purpose whatsoever. It is a bit depressing to think about, but at the same time, it makes our life so much more beautiful. We came from stardust and we will one day return to the stars to form new planets and potentially new life. Think about it. Every atom in your body has come from somewhere. In all likelihood, the atoms that we have are the same atoms that were in living dinosaurs, volcanic ash and supernovas. It is a bit mind-blowing to think about since we all are looking at the star lit night sky. 

Our discussion dives deeper into death. Austin makes a point that I find to be very very true. He uses the anecdote about college and how he was scared of going to college, but all of his friends have done it and have done it successfully, so why is there a reason to be scared. The same goes for death. Everything living thing on this planet dies. That is a fact. It didn’t hurt before we were born, so why should it hurt after? There is no immortality on this earth. The beauty of our life is that it is limited. We all study processes that happened far in the past and dive deep into the future, which infuriates us all because we all want to know what happens. I add that I wish I could be alive for one day every million years just to see where life has evolved, how plate tectonics have shaped the world and what our species (if it is still around) will be like. We all say now that we want to live forever, but at the same time, there is so much we have not yet lived and by the time we are no longer the youngest generation in our family, our thoughts will in all likelihood change. 

The last, and probably the most important thing we begin to talk about is happiness. At school, I am constantly convinced that the things I have make me happy, but I am so wrong. I am probably happier here than I have been at school. I am as happy as I was on EIE and interestingly, it is when I remove myself from the material world that this happens. Why is this? Is happiness internal rather than external? No. It is a balance of both. Happiness comes only through living things. Thing that can feel happiness that way we can. That is where happiness comes from. Happiness to me is not about how nice my clothes are, how expensive my car is or my check book. It is far from it. When I spend my time trying to focus on those things and searching from happiness with inanimate objects, I constantly find myself depressed. When I remove myself from that life and seek happiness in others, I am ecstatic and at peace. I am anxious about this thought since I am afraid that I will fall back into the other category when I return to the states, but hopefully this understand will help me to avoid the mistakes I have made for quite some time. It is now 12:30 in the morning and we have been talking for two and half hours. I don’t think there are many people at school that I could have this conversation with and it saddens me that I can’t. Or can I? Maybe it’s me who hasn’t made the effort at school to be as happy as I can be. Maybe everyone at school is looking for these conversations, but cannot find the right person to talk to these things about. I am amazed at how close I have become with all these people in such a short amount of time. In less than a week, I know more about these people than some of my closest friends at school. Maybe it’s the fact that I know I won’t be judged here the way I would be back in the states or maybe it’s the underlying idea that we all think alike and have very similar interests. Whatever it is, there is magic in the air. Don’t get me wrong. I love my friends at home and I would do anything for them, but I wish that I could have more conversations like the one I had with Austin and Mikayla. I wish we could talk more about these abstract ideas than where we are going for the night. The night before I left for school, I was chilling with Levy, Vila, Cummings, Levin, Shore and a few others. We had a great conversation and I hope that these conversations will only intensify when I return to the states and the people I don’t have the conversations with will be more willing to share their thoughts with me. My grandparents have taught me that knowledge and wisdom do not come through speaking; they come through listening. I want to listen to each of your ideas about these topics I have begun to discuss. I want to know what makes you happy and what happiness means to you.  I want to know about your views on religion, materialism, meaning of life and where in the hell we come from. I want to know it all and the beauty behind it is that I don’t have an eternity to learn it all, I have a lifetime. 

First (Full) Day in Tanzania

The rest of our day was very mundane. We spent the rest of the time in the airport sleeping and waiting for our flight to Tanzania. On the flight I sat next to Erin who goes to school at Whitman College in Walla Walla, Washington. She tells me about her reasons for going on SFS, her life at home and why there is a picture of her brother on her water bottle. I open my book and read for the rest of the flight. 

Forty five minutes later we are in Tanzania and need to go through customs. With little difficulty, we have finally finished our airplane travels and are greeted by Erica, the student affairs coordinator for SFS. We board our Toyota Land Cruisers and make our way to Arusha where we will sleep for the night before we head to our field station. Christina and I joke around for a bit in the car before I pass out. At the hotel, I get to my room and fall face first on my bed and will not wake up until 3 A.M. Hot, sweaty and smelly, I decide that I should take a shower. Expecting to be blasted by cold water, I am delighted to see a hot water faucet. I take a quick shower, brush my teeth and head back to bed. 

Luke and I wake up within minutes of each other at 6 A.M. I take a few pictures of our hotel, pack my bag and head downstairs to meet the rest of the group for breakfast. We eat eggs, coffee, fresh watermelon and a delicious Watermelon, Tomato and Mango beverage (seriously, it’s unreal). Our driver and counselor for the trip, Moses, watches me take out my enormous pill bag and jokes that I could start my own pharmacy downtown. After finishing the meal, we board our Toyota’s and head west to our field station. Getting out of Arusha was downright tedious. Traffic weaves in and out of one another and people are constantly running through traffic. An ambulance had to make way and cut a small lane in the center of the road where 15 cars would follow in attempt to shorten their drive to wherever they were going. Eventually the traffic thinned and we began our journey. The air smells cleans, the landscapes are breathtaking. Flat plains surround us and in the distance mountains that seem to reach the heavens paint a picture too beautiful for words to describe. We pass coffee fields, eucalyptus trees and locals attending to their livestock (mostly goats and cattle). The houses begin to dwindle and soon everything that one would find in civilization vanishes. Houses become mud huts, pants, t-shirts and shoes become linen and sandals and so much more. We are about 20 minutes away from the camp when we finally see our first taste of true African Wildlife. In the bush, about 100 meters away from the road, a giraffe is grazing on shrubs and trees. There are 3 other cars and tourists taking photos. We jump out and take our first peak. Then, another giraffe pops out and then another. It takes everyone’s breath away. It hits us that we are really here and that this adventure will be stamped in our memories for the rest of our lives. 

We get back into the car and begin to travel through the local towns. All seem very run down, but there is one thing that keeps these towns thriving, happiness. Everyone we see is smiling and enjoying their life. We are in one of the poorest countries of the world, but they are wealthy in happiness, and when people are happy, nothing else really matters. I hope to learn from them this important life lesson. 

We finally arrive at the field station and are greeted by all the staff. We take a tour of the our new home, and spend the rest of the afternoon playing cards, getting to know one another and learning a bit of Swahili. At 4:30, we make our way to Moyo Hill, a 25 minute hike where we can see miles upon miles of Tanzania. It is a bit depressing when I first look. There are pockets of thick bush surrounded by an abundance of barren terrain. Years ago, these barren places would have been flourishing with trees. We are in Tanzania for that reason. We are here to learn how to find the balance between letting the people of Tanzania thrive as well as the ecosystems. We are here to bring harmony to a damaged ecosystem. We make our way back to the camp, eat dinner and hang out for the rest of the night. When the sun sets, we are surrounded by the stars. It is magical. The sky is illuminated with little white specs. More so than in rural Wisconsin, Israel, Palm Springs or any place I have ever been. Once again, my breath is taken away. Tired and exhausted, I go to sleep. 

We wake up at 7 the next morning and go for a run. None of us are used to the elevation and within seconds we are all panting for air. Hopefully, by the time we are headed to Kenya, my lungs will not have a problem with the elevation. We get back, eat breakfast and hang out anxiously awaiting the arrival of the delayed group (the ones who got snowed-in in Newark). They arrive and we are finally all here. We introduce ourselves and have orientation. We head to the local village and see what there is to see. It is run down and everyone is looking at us. However, everyone is smiling and happy. I want to learn so badly what they know so well. We wander around for 20 minutes and make our way back to our new home where I am sitting now writing this journal entry.

The events that unfolded in London were not exactly what I had in mind. Ben didn’t answer his phone, so I decided to go and tour by myself. Walking around Paddington, the weather is crummy. It is overcast and a strong wind chill. I make my way into a small pub with free wifi and have a cup of coffee and toast. A few old men walk in, purchase a bottle of wine and begin to talk about the various things old Englishmen talk about. I felt as if I was in a movie. The pub was dimly lit, the people had terrible teeth and they were drinking before noon. I left the pub, walking aimlessly around. The biggest difference that I noticed between any other big city and London was the driving (remember, I was only really in London for maybe 3 hours). There really aren’t lanes in London. Cars are parallel parked every which way and it all seems very unorganized, but then again, cars weren’t exactly part of the city engineers plans a few centuries ago. I make a left and start to walk towards a park, Hyde Park. The only thing I know about Hyde Park is that there have been some killer live concerts that I’ve had the opportunity to listen to. The park is full of pigeons and tourists taking pictures. Since I was one of them, I had very little hesitation to pull out my SLR and snap a few photos of the famous park. It’s now been 20 some hours since I last got sleep and the walking around has made me exhausted. I decide to head back to Paddington Station so I can try Ben one more time, and if not, head to Heathrow. Ben doesn’t answer. Exhausted, I say my farewells to the history intense city and make my way to the Underground. The Underground is by far, the nicest public transportation train system I have seen in any city. Better than NY, DC, Boston, SF, Paris, the Underground takes them all.

I sit down and eye the people around me. There is a man struggling with a crossword puzzle. I had been doing a few of them recently so I decided to look a bit deeper and see if I could find help him out. Surely, there are a few that I know. I let him know and we continue to work on the crossword puzzle. After a few stops, we are mentally exhausted and strike up a real conversation. It turns out the man I was sitting next to was on his way Edinburgh where he is a Professor at the University and teaches 19th and 20th Century English History. The conversation soon turns to his youth where he traveled, much like I’m doing now. He continued to tell me about his experiences in Africa and the distinct smell that the African continent has. He has traveled much of Europe and Africa, but has not spent much time in the U.S. I urge him to go and see the crazy place that I call home and that NYC is in retrospect a very small taste of America (the only US city he’s been to). We arrive at Heathrow and before he hands me his business card, he gives me the best advice any young adult could hear: “Travel as much as you can before you get married”. In the back of my head, the Harlem Gospel Choir is singing “Amen”. 

Security is a breeze and I walk around the terminal for a bit. All of the sudden I pass someone who looks extremely familiar. I cautiously approach her and ask if she’s part of SFS (School for Field Studies). She says she is and introduces herself as Jess, the friend next to her is Liz. We talk for a bit and then my stomach takes the best of me and I’m off to find food. I decide the best thing to satisfy my love for America would be to eat at T.G.I. Friday’s. I eat at the bar and the bartender begins to tell me about the crazy festivals that happen all throughout the UK. What a place. The people I’ve met seem friendly and so far London has left nothing short of a sweet taste in my mouth. The hours pass and I spend my time getting to know Jess and Liz. We talk about our love for Disney movies, nature and our reasons for going to Africa. We also realize that we have mutual anxieties.
The time has come. It’s time to board the plane. We get to the gate and to our surprise six more students had made it across the Atlantic in time. Emily, Sarah, Christina, Julie, Luke and Erin. I’m excited, but feel like a walking zombie. I board the plane and pass out. I spent the rest of plane ride finishing my book and watching 127 Hours (amazing film, Franco is one of the most versatile actors in our generation). The movie is cut two minutes short due to landing, but that’s okay. The savanna of Kenya is now becoming a reality and everyone on board is excited crowding the windows to get a glimpse of Nairobi. 

We are welcomed by the Wildlife Professor in Kenya (he will be teaching us during our Kenya portion of the trip) and are instantly enamored by his amiable, wholesome and loveable presence. He takes us to the currency exchange where we trade in our familiar dollars for Kenyan shillings. He then brings four of the nine of us to the baggage claim so we can help load the truck that will be driving the bags from our site to the Field Station in Arusha. While getting the bags, a girl with a Goucher shirt begins to look at us quizzically. Her name is Ali and she will also be on our SFS trip. She has been in Tanzania for the past month with her grandmother and was told to meet us at the airport. We load the bags, meet a few more people (names are a bit fuzzy) and head back to the terminal to wait for our flight to Tanzania. I ask our Professor if he’s ever heard of a man named David Western. I tell him I just read his book and was really moved by it. To my surprise, he knows him quite well and tells me that if I want to meet him that we can definitely arrange a way for it to happen. I’m flabbergasted. A month ago, he was just a book on my grandmother’s bookshelf, now I’m going to get the opportunity to meet him and inquire more about his work. But that’s not all; he adds that if I’m serious about doing more conservation work in Africa, David brings in researchers to study primates. This could be something I’m interested in, but the only thing I’ve really done so far in this field of study is read about it. First, I need to fall in love with the work I’m doing before any further steps can be taken. 

The group decides to look around at all the extremely low priced duty free goods and traditional African objects. We are all so excited. After a while, we work up an appetite and get ready to indulge ourselves in our first meal. I choose the Cheddar, Avocado and Tomato sandwich, Emily and Sarah choose the same and within minutes our mouths are watering due to the smell of freshly prepared sandwiches. The rest of the group is playing cards, sleeping and reading. I pull out my laptop and decide to write this blog. And so it has begun.

And so it begins. I get a call early in the morning from Amy Sullivan, an employee of SFS (not sure what she does exactly), who has informed me that the group flight to London from Nairobi has been cancelled due to weather. I check my info online and tell her that I am scheduled to leave on time. She them tells me something that the novice traveler would likely pee themselves at the thought of. Traveling to Tanzania alone. That’s right ladies and gentlemen. I will be traveling to a third world country without a single acquaintance. Scared? Nah, come one, the core of man’s spirit comes from new adventures; this is going to be an exciting one. I headed for the airport around 2pm on a typical overcast day in Washington, DC. Awake half because of adrenaline, half because of caffine, falling asleep was not in my sights in the near future. We arrive at the airport and check-in bags. Of course, the money hoarding airline companies try to trick me to paying for my luggage. Good thing I’ve done my homework. I tell the man that online, you can fly two bags for free to Africa. He calls his manager and he says I am correct. (Congratulations Elliot, you are officially better versed in oversea baggage charges than the man who works the counter (if my Dad is reading this I will let him know that my arm is in a cast for patting myself on the back)) Getting through security was nothing short of painful. I had to watch a security guard destroy my previous nights work (he tore through my entire carry-on, and I may add that it is not easy to fit everything into it). Annoyed, but relieved, I made my way to the terminal. My backpack evolved from normal hiking back to carrying a boulder on my back very quickly. 


By 3:30, I am ready and waiting at my gate for a flight that is going to board in two hours. I picked up my phone and decided to start calling everyone I felt needed to hear my voice before I made my way across the Atlantic. I spoke with my self declared sister Sarah, my grandparents, parents and a good friend from home, Matt. To my delight, everyone is in good spirits and living their lives to their full potential. Before I know it, it’s time to board the plane, however there was barely anyone at the terminal. Yes my fellow friends, my flight to London was deserted. I had an entire row to myself where I could sleep…or so I thought. I am living on adrenaline. I did not sleep on the plane ride once. By the time my eyelids begin to give signs of exhaustion it was to late. We had crossed the Atlantic and were minutes away from Heathrow. Looks like I won’t be falling asleep until my flight to Nairobi. 


I arrive in London. It is overcast (what a surprise) and the temperature in average. About 45 degrees F. Drowsiness is really starting to set in. The customs line seems endless, but eventually I make my way to the front and get through. My next challenge is getting myself from Heathrow to Paddington. I decided that it is more economical to take the Underground. After a long winding road to the entrance, I catch my train and am on my way to see London. I get my first glimpse of London from the ground and it looks pretty much the way I imagined. Old, red brick houses, soccer (or should I say football) fields, morning traffic and lot’s and lot’s and lot’s of British accents. I stick out like a soar thumb. I am wearing old blue jeans, running shoes and a black windbreaker. Everyone else essentially looks like they came out of a Brooks Brothers store. Finally, I make it to Paddington. Exhausted, but a bit relieved, I am excited to be here, and look forward for the day to come.

And so it begins....tomorrow

Is there really a world out there that still goes back to our evolutionary roots? Is there really a world out there where people live off the fat of the land?
There has to be.
Tomorrow, I start my quest to find such a place. Tomorrow, I go to Africa. This morning I woke up and went right back to the comforts of my bed. The blinds kept my small room darkened until I saw it fit to make it light. Pressing the snooze button to my alarm and trying to decipher what was lucid dreaming and what was actual dreaming crowd my mind. It is my last day in the states. I should be up trying to gobble down the greasiest foods I can find and embrace all that America has to offer me. Instead, I doze back into and let my mind run wild.
The alarm sounds. It is 12:30 p.m.
I stumble out of bed, shower and get ready for my final day. Not much is actually happening the day before, but to my mind, there is more happening than in years passing.

My thoughts vary from moments of ecstasy to depression and everything in between. Africa, the place with so much political unrest and corruption, surely something will go wrong. The thought of being robbed at the airport and being sent to a Tanzanian prison for being an American have crossed my mind. These thoughts are quickly balanced with the thought of what I will see. The sights that I will see when I am there will be in my mind's eye for the rest of my days here on earth. A new chapter in my life is about to begin. I am about to embark on something that most college students will never experience. I am blessed. What if I get eaten by a lion. That would be a hell of way to die. Would people remember me, what would my funeral be like. I bet it would be big. I'm going to own the jungle, I'll probably walk out of that place with a lion's hide on my back and a necklace full of exotic teeth.What if no one cares that I'm gone. Will I be missed? Will there really be people that are interested in what I'm doing? Is this good for what I want to do in the longrun? What if something happens when I'm abroad that will change my life forever? Am I ready for that change? Will the return be as miserable as my return from Israel? Am I qualified enough? Am I ready? Have I learned everything I deem necessary to learn before I leave? I bet the people on the trip are going to be really down to earth. I hope they have a lot I can learn from them.

In sum, what I really want to accomplish from this trip are a few things. I want to live nature. That is, I want to be at one with the earth. I want to understand more about myself. I want to learn about other people, ecosystems and Africa. I want to learn other ways of living this crazy thing that we call life. I want to add a new lens to my mind's eye. I want to experience something so drastically different that my life will never be the same. I want to be reborn. And so it begins.....tomorrow.